Dr: “Ma’am, I’m going to put you on a ‘clear liquids only’ diet. And if your home is on fire, you may leave the building; other than that, you better stay put.”
Mummy: “You min’ dat doctuh. Tekka he doan pronounce ya dead pun arrival.”
Made a brief visit to the Emergency Room today. Seem to have come down with ominous “flu-like symptoms”. It is indeed a matter of fact that the presence of the H1N1 virus at my place of work is confirmed. This seems to be causing my loved ones significant concern. As far as I am concerned, regular flu or pig flu, ‘all-two both’ feel bad. As the MD said, it doesn’t matter how the virus is numbered, it’s clear that I have one, so let’s get to treating it. Here is where the MM comes in….
Been keeping MM (mummy) up to date, ever since I first started feeling ill. Figured she might want a heads up in case I keel over. Funny enough, although the furthest away and less able to help, she didn’t freak out at all. Once I got home from the hospital, I reported on the MD’s diagnosis and prognosis. She had her own take on a couple of things. As she always tends to. When it comes to things medical, she and MM senior (MaMa, my grand-mother), have always been my first point of reference for remedies. I list the main symptoms and in a matter of minutes, I’ll have my remedy: either a good purge with some bush tea, or to rub down with menthol and eucalyptus, or a strong cup of ginger and garlic. So here’s what the MD and the MM ordered.
MD: “Strictly clear fluids, get some Gatorade.”
MM: “Sugar-water with lil’ salt in it. Doan push up ya face – use it!”
MT (My Take): Sugar/Salt mix – ding-ding-ding
Gatorade is supposed to one-up water due to its electro-lyte replacement properties. Mummy says the sugar and salt will aid my mineral retention. The Gatorade cost me $3.99. The Sugar/Salt mix cost me the energy it took to swing open my cupboard. Read the ingredients on the Gatorade bottle (which now contains the sugar/salt mix), and – inaddition to a couple other things I can neither spell nor pronounce – it contains high fructose corn syrup – I’m not a great fan. I can both spell and pronounce water, sugar and salt.
MD: “You’ve been eating fruits and soup? Ma’am, I would suggest you stop all of that – If you can’t see through it, don’t eat or drink it! You can have the broth, but that’s it for the next three days.”
MM: “In three days, you won’t be able to even lift a bottle. Drink de lil soup. Just make sure you put back in some liquids when you go to the bathroom.”
MT: Drinking the soup – ding-ding-ding
Two hours after getting home from the hospital, I was again having some serious bad feels. Weak. Dizzy. Can’t move. Belly-hurt. I called the MM: “Mummy,” I whined, “I doan feel good…” In two-twos, she was yelling at me to get up and eat – “You min’ dat doctuh. Tekka he doan pronounce ya dead pun arrival.” As she cojoled on the phone, I dragged myself up. Drank some Sprite. Found the peppermint oil. Heated some soup. In half hour, I felt like a new woman. In 45 minutes, I was on the toilet. But I sure felt better. Plus, I had my sugar/salt mix to pump back in the liquids ;-).
MM: “Try and boil some garlic. You ain got no ginger to put in it? If ya gotta hol’ ya nose, drink it!”
MT: Um…if necessary.
This has been the age-old combo for fighting just about everything in my family. While I have never doubted its medicinal qualities, it has always been kind of a last resort. It’s not exactly a fragrant combo. I do know, though, that both have natural antibiotic qualities. I’m sure a quick google might turn up even more great properties. Well I did boil the garlic, unfortunately I’m out of ginger. But I think the soup and the sugar/salt will hold me for now.
Well since I’m on quarantine now, my boredom might drag me back to Allegiance as a release for my currently caged mental faculties. Thanks to all of you for keeping my virtual company. *cough cough*